Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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