I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
