Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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