So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
