the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
