Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
pray to the hookup gods
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
