are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
