I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
