Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
