I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
