Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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