We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
