Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
