Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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