I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
