This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
