Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
