I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
