You're so nebulous sometimes
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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