If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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