Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
This girl is more easily done than said...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
