I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
