I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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