best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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