We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
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oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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