oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
