i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
