too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
