i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
