how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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