i need an iv and a liver transplant
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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