I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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