I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
