It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
