they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
porn star boner night. come get it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
