i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
