i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
