I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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