and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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