I'm really into asian looking animals
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
