he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
