I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you made out with another girl for some wings
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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