This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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