Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
