ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
