i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
