some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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