You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
