You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
