I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
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I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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