Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
