And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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