I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
