The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
