perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
tell me about the eggs
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