I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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