i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The Olympian is in my bed
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
