I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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