Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
