So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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