how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
