dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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