my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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