roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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