dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
