good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
